My Life Philosophy: Success and its relation to you and those "out there".

There is no failure in life. Just learning. The only failure is if you refuse to learn. 

Our culture demands quite a bit from us in terms of "success". This success comes in a variety of forms and measurements depending on many variables. Examples of said forms could be monetary, fame based, procreation rate, popularity level, ethics or exoticism while the said measurements of these forms are based on the expectations held by the ones who judge your success or (more importantly) your own personal expectation. A few examples of said variables would be 1.) your personal (perceived or in some cases delusional) circumstances in your present life 2.) the (perceived/unperceived) circumstance of the "judger's" present life in relation to yours 3.) your personal history of "success" - just to name a few. 

So the question is, what is your personal expectation of success? Is it monetary? Are you trying to be wealthy? Or just wealthier than those around you? Are you looking to achieve fame? Locally or nationally? Are you wanting children and a family? Are you looking to achieve a balanced ethical life? Or at least the perception of such? Or are you one who bases success on the exotic experiences the world has to offer - the amount of travel, activity, recreation?

Now I'm not saying that it's one of the above. It can most definitely (and usually is) a combination of these. For some, a successful life consists of being wealthy with a large family and a healthy balance of ethics. While for others, national fame is the one and only goal. And so on...

That may be well and good, but what bogs many down is the expectations of success of those around us - or as I say "out there". What do those "out there" expect us to achieve in order to label us successful? Many view your success based on what they perceive is important to you. If you grew up loving the stage, they base your success based on whether or not you achieve national fame. If you grew up in the church they'll base your success on how ethical you conduct your life. And so on...

These successes are then measured by your scale and theirs. And all too many times, our own scale is affected by those "out there". Who doesn't like being perceived as "successful"? Who doesn't like to have a quick impressive answer to what's going on in their life? But these measurements are determined by a slew of variables - most notably circumstances. For instance, someone who has encountered a divorce in their life leaving them with pennies in the bank will have a lower expectation level when success is measured in terms of monetary achievements. This is why it's always so impressive when this someone springs back fast and acquires a large sum of wealth on their own. They become a success story. Trauma in one's life lowers expectations of those "out there". 

So now my point: Rhetorically, are you someone who plays the success game for those "out there"? Are you one who projects a standard for those to base their measurements? Are you one who's bogged down by everyone else's opinion of what "success" is for you? Do you cause or project the image of trauma in your life to lower expectations? 

I've decided to live for me - my own happiness - my own form of success - my own measurement - under my own true circumstances. It's easy to let others determine it for you, yet it's also easy to sabotage yourself when your life circumstance gets bumpy. I won't lower my own goals for personal success, nor will I inflate the severity of "trauma" I incur or receive on my way there. Besides, most people out there are more impressed with those who're able to see that and actually live it without caring about outside opinion.

On that note, I leave on this: On the road of life and its destination toward success: There are no failures in life. Just learning. The only failure is if you refuse to learn. - I've learned to not let myself get snagged on personal "failures". The word failure has such a dismal, irredeemable connotation. We as humans learn (from very young ages) from so called failures. It's how we grow and survive. We learn from them. They aren't bad. They're good. These so called failures teach us. - With that said, the only dismal, irredeemable failure comes when we refuse to learn from them. We have the ability to dig our own graves in this sense. 

So finally: Failure, like success, is what we make of it. Live for you. Not someone else's "you". And grow from life's gifts of mistakes. That's what I've decided for myself.